Haplo has a good plan. I think he has a good idea there.
I knew a wife who bought clothing using the credit card, put the goods in the closet and the theory was the husband would get used to seeing the clothing and not think about it until she would put the new item on for the first time in one - three months later. If the husband looked with a strange look at her outfit (no new bags came in the door recently) and asked...she would say "this has been here for a long time...didn't you notice it in closet?" Of course the sub-conscience had registered the color...
and in checking the credit card bill (depending on how far back and how long the wait) nothing such as this item would be listed! The wife paid for the credit bills on time every month.
Something like that pylon 1357?
You know you would spend it all to rescue her if you were in that situation...you already have. I bet if she really needed you to do it again for a really good reason...you'd do it again.
It is good to be open and honest on both sides and this is how to remain allies, otherwise...eventually...it could break out into a marital war.
I am probably naive and not good with idea in these situations, but my thought was negotiate that there is the one account we deposit for family expenses, all needs and planning.
The personal account each spouse has is also above board, but the agreement is there is no guilt for spending what has been deposited honestly into this personal spending account on what you choose as this is yours for this purpose.
Each spouse doesn't put guilt on the other to get money that is needed (for a new fence or army goodies) from the other when it comes to your personal account.
[b]BUT a loan and pay it back could work. No matter which account the money was taken from and paid back to. Unless you want to just give. Maybe the wife would like the opportunity to buy something for you that is important to you?
The wife who hid the clothing in the closet? She and the first husband ended in divorce, although not because of the clothing in the closet. She ended up in a second marriage to a Firefighter in the Air Force and it was really hard on her when her beloved hubby was off to a destination. Sometimes we get confused about what is really bothering us and if we knew, then what is different than before and isn't that just the way it is?
Every now and again, a reminder of your loved, your important, an out of the ordinary as a think of you as I always did, none of that has changed.
Sounds like you have worked it out well and great! I apologize if these thoughts are off about something I read that got me thinking.
Last edited by L.E. on Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:34 am; edited 1 time in total