Situation

As the title states, I have a situation here. Or actually more of a vent. I managed to save up a nice little amount in my side account to feed my collecting habit. There is a show in Ottawa next weekend and I was stoked cause I have some spare cash I can spend on pretty much anything I wanted....read 8th RECCE, and 1st Armoured Car Cap badges. ( I have cash set aside for our deal Bill.

My wife saw fit to need a new fence for her damned horses. I lost. New fence is going up NOW, and my dreams of acquiring the above mentioned badges have dwindled yet again. Just curious, how the heck do avoid this in the future.... note: getting rid of the horses and/ or my wife is not an option.

How do other married guys do this?? I am at a loss.

Reporting the full amount you had saved up to your wife was probably your first mistake.

Seperate silent accounts....? Called badge money here. Don't ask, don't tell. But, the significant other has a silent account too.

Budget her account, your account and your shared "our" account. I got burned several times over the last 20 years with caching my loot and when she would find it: "How come you get all this money and I get crap?" Even though she always got more than I, it was never saved into a nice pile. With a transparent arrangement, she saw how I built mine up. I always treated the "our" account as "hers" because she was going to do that anyway. . .

Thanks for your comments and ideas. I have a savings account that was set up many many moons ago, back in a time when I did cash side jobs. When I first went overseas, I had my wife added to the checking account ONLY. Well at some time or another, her card failed and she had to replace it. The nice teller who replaced her card, added my savings account to her card as well. She has known for a while just much cash I had squirrled away. Hence, new fence and very happy horses and wife. Me, not so much.

After talking with Ed today at the Ottawa Military Show and Sale, the solution came to me. I am going to cancel the account, why not, I can justify it cause its EMPTY:hissyfit:

Then after a couple weeks of overpriced coffee, I will open a new account. Problem solved. As long as the nice teller does not add it to my wifes card sometime in the future. Maybe even open the account at a different bank.

Nothing like sorting out a problem in the middle of the calming atmosphere of a militaria show.

maybe a little late but here is what I do, any spare notes (small ones) or little bits of cash I make from selling bits here and there, go into one of my mess tins, so then I dont notice it gone, nor does the wife

I dont go crazy, but over 6-12months it can add up, then when something comes along

(had to use the mini gun cos I didnt think I would get to use it)

I finally corrected this by opening a pay as you go credit card account. All she sees in a credit card payment on the bank statement. No awkward questions about withdraws to answer.

Bachelor for life...no problems.

Well Dale, I can tell you this.... if I take one more Overseas job, I will be single again.

Well problem solved then.

I have a separate account for the collection.
I buy and sell things when i can.
Half on the normal account and half collection account.
Works perfect for me.

LOL...LOL...

Haplo has a good plan. I think he has a good idea there.

I knew a wife who bought clothing using the credit card, put the goods in the closet and the theory was the husband would get used to seeing the clothing and not think about it until she would put the new item on for the first time in one - three months later. If the husband looked with a strange look at her outfit (no new bags came in the door recently) and asked...she would say "this has been here for a long time...didn't you notice it in closet?" Of course the sub-conscience had registered the color...
and in checking the credit card bill (depending on how far back and how long the wait) nothing such as this item would be listed! The wife paid for the credit bills on time every month.

Something like that pylon 1357?

You know you would spend it all to rescue her if you were in that situation...you already have. I bet if she really needed you to do it again for a really good reason...you'd do it again.  

It is good to be open and honest on both sides and this is how to remain allies, otherwise...eventually...it could break out into a marital war.

I am probably naive and not good with idea in these situations, but my thought was negotiate that there is the one account we deposit for family expenses, all needs and planning.
The personal account each spouse has is also above board, but the agreement is there is no guilt for spending what has been deposited honestly into this personal spending account on what you choose as this is yours for this purpose.
Each spouse doesn't put guilt on the other to get money that is needed (for a new fence or army goodies) from the other when it comes to your personal account.
[b]BUT a loan and pay it back could work. No matter which account the money was taken from and paid back to. Unless you want to just give. Maybe the wife would like the opportunity to buy something for you that is important to you?

The wife who hid the clothing in the closet? She and the first husband ended in divorce, although not because of the clothing in the closet. She ended up in a second marriage to a Firefighter in the Air Force and it was really hard on her when her beloved hubby was off to a destination. Sometimes we get confused about what is really bothering us and if we knew, then what is different than before and isn't that just the way it is?
Every now and again, a reminder of your loved, your important, an out of the ordinary as a think of you as I always did, none of that has changed.

Sounds like you have worked it out well and great! I apologize if these thoughts are off about something I read that got me thinking.

Cheers!

I feel for all you guys who have to sneak around and hide your purchases from your spouses. It sounds like I'm one of the lucky people who has a supportive wife. I have my own collection room full of items which I can freely bring collectibles into/out of even in her presence. Heck, I haven't worked since May and I'm still collecting. But to be fair, I am only using the money I get from selling items so there is no "new" money being spent. Still, it's a little sad that other people have the type of relationship with their significant others that they can't be open about their hobbies and share their passion for collecting.

Well, I have started my new job, pretty much a cash for life type of job. I found out I can bank my overtime so this is a very very good plan for me. I figure work 50 hours of overtime, cash it in and bingo, play money for me.

I'm happy to hear that things are working out for you Cliff.

Cliff, I am happy everything is working out for you too.

I have a separate account for my extra earnings: overtime, shift differential, 2nd job, etc. It supports my beer, guns, and militaria habits. I put it to her that if she wants to have extra money to spend, she's welcome to work extra for it - and she does.